Inadequate

I used to be the shyest person ever.
Afraid to make friends.
Afraid of being judged.
Afraid of being seen.
And then one day I was noticed.
And that person told his friends to notice me.
Then their friends noticed me.
Then one day I put myself on stage let everyone notice me.
Then I became the person that everyone knew.
It was six degrees of separation through me.
It came to a point to where I couldn't afford to go unnoticed.
I was this version of myself that could do anything because the people around thought I could.
Inside I was still that shy person afraid of the world.
I would stay in the middle of the pack but I would be the shinning star.
People would gravitate towards me because I blend well.
I can be hood, dapper, proper, nerd whatever the occasion called for.
People were comfortable around me and here I am not even comfortable with myself.
Every day was an inner struggle of emotion.
I would meet people and they would know me.
I was the go to guy.
The guy who knew where to go on what day.
You want drugs I knew where to get them.
You want clothes I had a plug.
Bars, I knew them all.
I opened my friends to genres of music they never paid attention to.
Fashion? I created my own style.
Girls I had no type.
I got them all.
Hood rats, thots, prissy, spoiled Spanish white black all walks of life.
Again I made everyone comfortable. I can appeal to a person's ego.
I was everyone's bad decision.
Not because they didn't want more out of me.
They all wished I was better.
They just didn't want to wait for me to catch up.
Spoiled by media everyone yearns for this fantasy world relationship.
Traveling the world every month. Weekends in the Hamptons.
Summers in Ibiza.
VIP in the clubs.
And I have the potential to do all that.
Hell I know everyone that does do that.
They all want me to hang out with them.
But how do I get that for myself.
How did they figure that out.
How do I turn the potential to do everything into something.
Why does the guy with the Bentley want me to party with them because they know I know where to go but all I want is to be left alone.
Why do I want to be left alone.
Because even surrounded by people who sing your praises you're still that shy person scared to be seen by the world.
Afraid that you're not good enough.
Afraid that you won't succeed.
Afraid that no matter what potential you have inside you the one thing you want the most is out of reach.
Afraid that if you try you'll fail again and again.
Afraid of life.
Afraid of being special.

Mr. Inadequate

@thericolaw - Twitter Instagram Snapchat

Pen Pals

I got on the train and started righting as I always do trying to fantasize about anyone. Nobody really compelling enough to write a story about. As I look down from my phone I see her. Pen in hand hitting down notes what looks like character points. Could this be, are we one and then same, writers, parallel versions of each other. I see her peak nod and not something down. Is she writing about me. A seat opened up next to her so I sat down. I'm writing this story next to her and I can see her peak over. She has her pen and pad out too and is still taking notes of he own. It gets to the parts where things in my story start getting sexy and I can see her intently reading trying to find out what happens next.  She's not even writing anything down anymore. I peak over pretending to see what stop we're at but really I just want to catch her looking. She doesn't even blink, she looks me in the eyes and back to my phone as if she wants me to finish. I smile and say hi. She smiles and says hi and ask me what I'm writing. I explain my blog and she's totally in to. She tells me how she fell in love with someone on the train and never said a word and how she always wanted to and then takes my hand and pulls me in for a kiss. It's sweet at first, she forms a smile in her kiss, and then it gets more intense more sensual. Her tongue folds over mine, I bite her lip, she digs her nails I to my arm, I run my fingers through her hair and till I reach the base of her neck and pull her in. She breaks away and tells me I like this days of lust. She asks me where I'm getting off and tells me she's getting off the same stop we live a couple of blocks from each other. She asks me more about the stories are they true are they all about me and I tell her the truth. She follows my blog and starts reading more stories as the train continues on. I write more of the story of us. We get off the train going hands talking about my blog. She loves that I tell the story that plagues people's minds, the "what if" tale of star crossed lovers. She asks me how our story ends. I stop her and give her a kiss. I look up to my apartment and give her a gentle tug. I look back at her and say "well we can write that part ourselves right now." She pauses for an instant then takes a step forward. The light turns off as we head upstairs. The sounds of laughter and pleasure and sex fill the air. She whispers in my ear the things I wrote already that she wants me to do. I kiss her neck down to her nipples licking and sucking until they get hard, sh wants me to bite them. I do and she smacks me across the face. Then she grabs me and kisses me. I'm enjoy every minute of this for her. She tells me that o go on and apologizes for the slap she's not used to this. I tell her it's ok and to pretend it's the first time having sex with your boyfriend. She's say but we're not. I ask her to be my boyfriend she says yes playing into this illusion. She pulls my face back to her nipples. I suck and lick and nibble and this time no slaps. She's more comfortable now. I make my way down to her navel as my hand runs down her back and palms her ass forcing her pelvis forward kiss in her hip bones. She thrust and turns in a ticklish delight. She shoves my head in between her legs and my mouth meets her slit. As I lick her from bottom to top she laughs and moans as one. She holds my head there and grinds her pussy into my face. She falls in love with her story. She bends over grabs my face and pulls me in tight. I eat her from the back fucking her with my tongue. I circle her bum with my tongue she giggles and turns at me smiling with a look of so that's what that deals like on her face with the urgency to have me to keep doing it also on her face. I oblige willingly as I start to take my pants off. I give her one long lick from clit to anus and straight through. Kissing the small of her back and the rest of the way up to her neck and her ear. She arches her back and turns her head to kiss me. She feels my hard prick pressing against her wet vagina not quite making its way in. She reaches under and grabs my fat throbbing cock and rubs it on her clit and along her vagina until it reaches her entry and she shoves me in. She screams oh my god as I fill her up. A tear falls from her eye as she falls in lust with a story she read on a train from a stranger she never new. She throws her hips back as I thrust forward matching blow for blow maximizing entry allowing me to reach deep inside her. She's is dripping wet as river flows through her cascading down my balls, I'll have to change the sheets in the morning. I laugh a little. She looks back and asks what's up. I whisper in her ear Im gonna cum and then nibble on her ear. She throws it back fast and screaming when when when. I hold my breath waiting for that moment, I pull out and she turns to me and I shoot my load over her face with her open mouth I scream now now now. Whatever fell I her mouth she swallows. The rest she collects with her finger and licks them clean. "Next stop Astoria Ditmars". I look up and I'm at my stop, I hit the save button on my phone. I turn and see her looking down at my phone staring up at me. She twists around embarrassed and lost, she looks up to collect her thoughts as I begin to walk away. I can tell she missed her stop. I look back and catch her eye, "before the doors close". She looks up shocked and curious and runs out. I grab her hand and smile as we walk to my apt, she grabs me close as if this was who we were.

Make Me Wet

It's our first date after months of flirting hanging out being friends and inside jokes. I was hoping for him to make a move and wondering what's he waiting for. We had dinner it was great. We went out danced had drinks, best night of my life. Still as good it was he still didn't make a move, what's wrong with him what's wrong with me. Should I just make the move, but if he's friend zoning me? As we're outside I'm about to order a can but he ask if I was hungry. I was drunk and feeling a little hungry so yeah we got food. As we walked to this spot he said I had to try he grabbed my hand. I'm not gonna lie I felt a spark that maid me nervous in a good way. As we got to the place I reached for the door when to my surprise he pulled me to him looked me deep in my eyes and went for it. Taken aback I pulled my head back for a pause quick glance at him closed my eyes and let him kiss me. His kiss was soft gentle and yet also arousing. He didn't shove his tongue down my throat. He kissed me the way you kiss at a wedding. He put his hand around my neck and rang his fingers through my neck. He was controlling andand passionate. I was in love. The kiss lasted forever or maybe a few minutes. He let me go and smiled and placed his forehead on mine. He whispered I waited to long to do that. I kissed him again fast but with desire and said yeah you did. We grabbed some food and I ordered a cab. I asked him your place or mine. He said either works. His place was close so went there. We talked and kissed the whole ride back. When we got back to his place I sat on his bad as he got clothes for me to wear. I told him to turn around as I got changed. He asked if I was done and I said yes. I laid there on the bed fully naked. He smiled at me came over and kissed me that same way. This time the kiss was all those things before but more he bit my lip a little he sucked on my tongue and my lip he nibbled on my ear. He was turning me on I couldn't contain myself. I tore off his shirt and started kissing his neck. I wanted him to take me then and there but he seemed to have different plans. He kissed my neck and collar and made his way to my breast. He played with my nipples getting them hard and making me wet. He kissed my stomach down to my belly button. He kissed the side of my ribs and that turned me on for some reason. This kid new what he was doing. He made his way to my pelvis and I got nervous. I told him I didn't really care for oral cause nobody ever got me off that way. He looked up at me smiled and continued. He didn't go straight for my vagina he started kissing my inner thigh down to my knees. He kissed somewhere behind my knee and I almost came right there. He made his way back up and gave my pussy a full lick top to bottom. He did that a couple more times until I was dripping wet. He kissed my labia and sucked on it a little too. And then he maid his to my clit. He gave me the full service, sucked on it liked it kissed it I was spinning. Suddenly I felt something that I was only able to achieve myself. I was about to have an orgasm. My breathing sped up I was at a lost for words I wanted to make him stop for some reason my hand went to pull his head up but he threw back and brought me to completion. My legs tightened around his head I was dizzy, it was amazing. He continued for a while after and then it happened again. Where did this boy come from, how does he know how to do this and where has he been all my life? After the second orgasm he kissed my body back to my face and started kissing me. The taste of myself on him turned me on more. I pulled his pants down and went straight for his dick. I needed him inside me desperately. His dick was smooth groomed thick not too big and definitely not small, it was perfect. As I stroked him in my hand he kicked off his pants and took control of his dick. He rubbed up and down my pussy teasing me turning me on and having me begging for his dick. He inserted it just a little and then pulled it out. He did this a couple of times. This almost made me cum again, and then he gave me all of it. His dick filled my pussy and it was amazing. I was so wet it slid right in stretching me in the most pleasurable way. They way he went in out rhythmically was like a dance, his pelvis pressing against my clit as he pushed  forward. He wasn't greedy with his thrust, every motion was designed to help me get off. Nibbling on my neck kissing me pationately touching me in all the right places. It wasn't long before I came again. He didn't seem anywhere close to finishing and I've already came 3 times I needed a break. As he was pressed against me I grabbed his back and rolled over. As I was on top I gave him a dose of his own medicine.  Contracting the muscles in my vagina to increase his pleasure feeling every bit of him in me I could see it in eyes he's gonna cum and so was I. We would cum together and it would be amazing. I whispered in his ear cum for me cum for me. From underneath me he thrust forward to match my grinding we were back in a dance leading to climax. When we came together I could feel his cum enter me and fill me. It's warmth sliding down his cock and my leg. I got off and locked his dick clean. As I gingered myself to get cum out he watched me clean my fingers off and it turned him on as more cum came out of his dick I licked him clean again. Spent from the night activities I laid my head on his chest and we dozed off. All night I dreamt about the night. I woke up wet he woke up hard and we started all over again.

From the other side

There I was in the club by myself and hating it. I sit at the bar and order a drink and ignore what's going on around me. From the mirror behind the bar I see this couple have the time of their lives. They are so into each other laughing, kissing, dancing, drinking, they seem to be in love. I see them move over to what seems like their own private table. They pour themselves a drink and she parks herself on his lap. She's wearing a dress that shows off her body perfectly, he's dressed nice as well. They're a pretty couple. She starts grinding on him, not in a raunchy way but playful. As she is doing this I catch him roll his bed back. This intrigued me more. It was that kind of action you make when something really pleasurable happens. I think I know what's going on. They act casual enough to not draw attention unless you've been watching them as long as I am. I can't tell for sure what's going on but for his sake I wish I'm right. Who doesn't want to secretly have sex in a vip table at a packed club? I know I do. He takes a sip and looks around the room. We wind up locking eyes and I couldn't look away. I was like a deer in the head lights frozen unable to move. He raises his glass to me and gives me the nod. I raise my glass to him and nod as well. My suspicions are true and I can't stop but smile and laugh. He turns his attention back to her. Kissing her neck and holding her hands up in a dancing motion, again doing his best to not draw attention. She grabs her drink and takes a sip. She starts to look around the room too. As if she just became aware of what she was doing and wanting to make sure she wasn't being watched. She catches me looking in the mirror and whips her head around to get a better look. She takes another sip from her drink as she starts to stare at me. Now she starts to put on an act. She's making faces of pure delight and pleasure. She's enjoying what he's doing and enjoying even more the audience that is me. This act goes on for a few more minutes when I see them both come to that point. She gets up and sits next to him they kiss and have another drink. At this moment a women sits next to me and says "did you enjoy that?" I turn to see this beautiful women in a dress showing off her body the way it should. I look around to crowd of people dancing not knowing what just happened and told her this was hottest sex I've ever had in my life. We pour another drink, sip it fast, leave our booth and head home.

Bathroom Break

We were at the bar with friends drinking laughing having fun. Flirting back and forth with each other not because we are trying to pick each other up we are already a thing. We flirt because we should because it keeps things alive because we want each other to know that we are still into each other. We go out for a smoke holding the cigarette for each other making physical. Legs brushing against each other getting that nervous feeling you get when you try and make the first move and you don't know if she's into you or not. That feeling was turning me on, should I kiss her, is she into, forgetting that we already have amazing sex.  I went in for a kiss always remembering Will Smith's rules from the movie Hitch, I went in 90 she came the other ten. Our lips touch and it was like we kissed for the first time all over again. The kiss was filled with passion and lust. My hand grabbing the back of her head hers digging into my back. My penis  growing bigger and bigger trapped in the moment. She felt me pressed against her pelvis. She breaks the kiss looks down and then looks up and smiles. She grabs me by the hand and leads back in. We walk through the crowd our friends everybody till we get to the bathroom. She looks around, no eyes are on us she opens the door pulls me in and locks it. She pushes me against the wall kisses me and starts working on my pants. She gets my dick out and begins working on that. She wraps her mouth around and again the sense of passion and lust fills my body. The door was tugged on but the locked stopped any intruders. I try and think if there was another bathroom here nervous to draw attention. She gets up and her pants are already down, she doesn't care who is waiting and now I don't either. She turns around and leans over the sink. She grabs my dick and puts it exactly where she wants. Her warmth surrounds me, it feels like home. I begin to make love with her like we had all the time in the world. Someone knocks on the door. I pull out scared about to end everything. She looks at me confused grabs my cocktail and says fuck me like the world is about to end and the last thing you wanna do before you die is cum. I start slow to feel every bit of her insides, every muscle contraction every drip of her juices flowing out and falling of me. It turns me on I start to speed up she screams fuck me. The door knocks more aggressively. I know we're in trouble but I don't care. I got to where she wants me to go, pound town. I fuck her till I hit the wall. I'm ready to explode. I pick my target, that pile of hand towels looks good. That'll teach them to interrupt me. Nervous of what we are about to run into once we step I pull my pants she pulls up hers. We kiss and laugh about the situation. I open the door to find no one there. We see our friends and join them for a shot. Immediately one of them enters the bathroom we just left. We look at each other and gave a nervous smile, said our good byes and rushed out of there. We hailed a cab laughed again kissed and started round two

Room 1111

It was a normal day at the hotel, I've been here enough to be used to the day to day so when they asked me to check rooms I was ok with it. Why not I thought whats the worst that can happen, besides what if I find something of interest? So I grab my list of rooms and and a master key and went on my merry way. So for those reading at home, room checks are when it is past check out time and they haven't checked out yet, so you knock on the door hoping somebody or nobody answers before you just open it to see if anyone is there. My list is pretty short, 2 rooms on the second floor and 1 on the eleventh. I walk up to the second floor and check the two rooms to find them empty as they should be so I cross them off my list.  I get up to the eleventh floor to room and 11 and joke to myself 1111 make a wish. In reality my wish was that this would be easy I can go back down and continue on with the rest of my day. So I knock on the door no response, I knock again "Front Desk", still no response. I knock one more time as I key myself in "Front Desk keying in." As I unlock the door and enter the room this woman is dancing with her headphones in with a towel around her hair fully naked. I was in awe for a split second as she didn't notice at first. In that split second it took to open the door see everything and slip out before she noticed, I was noticed. I backed out and closed the door praying she didn't see me or think me a pervert and turned to walk away. Before I even turn around she has the door opened again naked with a towel around her head and is dragging me into her room. I'm no stranger to naked beautiful women wanting me to have my way with them but i was a little nervous. I really didn't want to lose my job but I also don't want her to extort me into something I can't even do, like a free room or something. Before I even begin to say anything with her headphones still on and dancing in her own little world she locks the door and unzips my pants. I am turned on and terrified at the same time. She pulls my pants down and my cock out. She strokes it enough to get me erect, seeing as the situation has me in whirlwind of emotions right now a fear boner emerges. She puts it in her mouth bobbing her head to the sound of the music as she starts sucking my cock. I don't know who this women is or where she is from but she is amazing at sucking cock. It's like she was french kissing me but my penis, and I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure the headphones added this vibration affect which enhanced the already amazing blow job I was getting. The excitement of all this lead me to an early unexpected orgasm that I let happen with no warning. The way she was going, the rhythm she was in I don't even know if she noticed cause she didn't even flinch as semen started dribbling down her chin as well as whatever she clearly had swallowed. I had to stop her because I could barely stand from the draining orgasm I just experienced. I felt like the life was literally sucked out  of me. She detaches her mouth from my cock wipes the cum of her chin and swallows that before she gets up grabs my cock walks me over to the bed she bends over and takes my half flaccid penis and sticks it in her vagina. still with her headphones on she starts grinding herself into me. It didn't take long for me to be fully erect inside her again. She took full control of the situation, she sped up when she wanted me to fuck her harder and slowly grind into me when she wanted to slow things down. She pulled me out and laid on her back pulling me back in sticking a leg up in the air and maneuvering it around my neck as if it were and arm pulling me closer. this women was my secret sexual soulmate and I haven't said to words to her yet. I think she could sense in my face that I was gonna cum again so she slid down off the bed and on to her knees and took me in her mouth again until I came. Swallowing me once again, she stands up pulls my pants up gives me a kiss on the cheek backs me out of her room and shuts the door. In complete awe of what just happened I went back downstairs expecting to get fired for being away for too long. As I went back to my desk and check the first 2 rooms out my shift manager asked me about the third room. Nervous and a little jumpy I responded swiftly with "She's fine, neededafewminutespacking, I wenttosmokeacigbeforeicamedownstairs." Turned back to the screen and pretend like nothing ever happened. A few minutes later she walks downstairs headphones still in hands me the keys to her room gives me and wink and skips out of my hotel. I look at the key card for a number or anything as if there was a secret hidden clue aside from the sex that she was winking at. Finding nothing I laugh to myself as this smoking hottie took me int to her body made me cum twice and skipped out of here as if it was her good dead of the. Maybe it was and if it wasn't who cares nobody know what just happened. As I take her keys and file them away and go to throw out the card they were held in I look at the back and find a note. Now everyone behind the front desk seems to be looking at me looking at the note. They all kind of gasped and kinda cheered as the note read you taste amazing I'll be back in a month I want you in me again. Not knowing what kind of trouble this would get me into, they all kind of congratulated me an gone about there day. Now I'm very specific about who I let stay in room 1111.

Missed connection

We got on the express train and instantly fell in love. Our eyes never stopped making contact. Somehow we knew it would never be, but we also wish it would and never knew how to make it happen. When we switched from express from local we waited next to each other. We got on the same car and sat across from each other to make sure we kept eye contact. As we listened to our music we mouthed the lyrics to love songs to each other. We threw each other smiles and grins knowing exactly what was going on. Neither of us willing to make a move, both hoping and anticipating when the other would get off the train. As the train progressed further to our destination we both secretly hoped we would ride it together forever. Each coming up with new ways to observe each other without it being obvious. From glancing to the reflection on the window to a blatant gaze at each other. It was the most intense feeling I've had in awhile. Stops before mine I saw her gather her things. My heart dropped, my mind raced, I had no idea what to do I was frozen in time space love and fear. In the moment of the train pulling into to the station our lives together flashed before my eyes. I made a bold move to get her attention. As a gift I gave her the bottle of wine gifted to me.  She opened dialogue, I got off at her stop waited for her train rode it to her house got to know her laughed shared hopes dreams fears our lives. We started dating fell more in love git married had kids grew old and died. We were perfect. She hot off the train waited for her connecting train grinning the whole time. She had the same  vision as me. She was standing in my blind spot so I slid  down the row to see her one last time. She turned as the train doors closed. We gave each other the last glimpse of our fantastical life together. She gave me a salute as I smiled and gave her the this life shrug of my shoulders and the train pulled off. She was gone and so our love and future. It was the greatest romance I've never had.