the love i'll never know

in nine months something will happen that will change my life forever but i won't be a part of it
i don't blame the person for hating me but for taking this away from me i will hate you forever
i can only hope that its not true ...
i can't bare to stripped away from something that is partially mine
i will never know your name or what you look like or what gender you are
i will never hold you in your arms
and you will never know your true fathers love
i will secretly dream of you
i will have my own secret name for
i will create my own secret life for you
i will create memories that we will never share
in years to come i will pretend to have seen your first steps
i will fantasize about your first word
i will pretend to take you to school
i will teach you about baseball and watch met games with you
i will teach you to ride a bike
i will do everything a father should do with its child
and you will never know me
you will never know my name who i am or what i look like
you will never experience these things with
you will idolize a false father figure who will undoubtedly love you for he will love your mother
he will teach you things that i should have
he will teach you to drive
how to react with the opposite sex how to deal with life
and i will always think about the love i'll never know
i love you and somehow someway you will know i am out here loving you

- the love i never knew-