random feeling

its funny how the world works ... the other day i was hating life ... then you meet someone who is mad cool and everything seems different ... you don't get caught up in the sorrows of life as much ... your new focus is establishing more of a connection with this person ... then you hope that (if you're happy) this person stays so the felling will last because you hate how things were before

taking a shit vs giving bitrh

Another theory on yet another one of lifes great mysteries; like what came first the chicken or the egg, is ther life on mars, what is better sex or head, and of course what is more painful giving birth or taking a shit. Now I know what some of you readers are thinking, "how can you compare the two?", or " no way does taking a shit compare to giving birth." Well I beg to differ. I for one have taken shits that no one should ever have to experience. Yeah, Yeah I know preganancy is a dificult process and is quite painful, but you knew what you were getting into. Never did i think after eating this chocolate cake was i gonna have to pass a chocolate baby out of my asswhole. How much can pregnancy really hurt, sure you have to pass a football through your vagina but at least your pumped with drugs. I wish i can have that while taking a shit, life would be so much better. It’s not like women don’t take shits so you know what us men go through but again no woman has ever shat like me, or any other man probably for that matter. Labor phft try sitting on the bowl for 7 hours sweating bullets, breathing heavily, stomach cramps and all you get is a loud phart and a few particles of debri, now that’s labor. I hope I never have to wipe my ass again, I would rather take the drugs, and go through labor and have the doctors cleaning me up and taking care of the situation then sit on uncomfortable toilet seat, pass my own child, then wipe my ass with toilet paper that feels like sanding paper then wopnder why I’m bleeding out the ass in the morning. "Well it’s not just the labor, you don’t have to cary shit around for nine months." "Well you don’t have to carry it around for 9 months"(in a whinny voice), who gives a shit. You never had to walk 12 blocks to your house with diarrhoea poking out your ass. "My water Broke".... Well my ass is leaking, and no one is gonna hold my shit up and say "oh how cute". At least woman have the pleasure of having an orgasm during birth. The closest thing I got to an orgasm while taking a shit is having my balls sit on top of the mountain, if you get my visual, and that’s not fun who wants shitty balls? I didn’t intend on showering after shit. I don’t know. Plus you don’t have to go through that every day. If it was everyday then I give it to you hands down, but nooooooo. Look you can counter argument all you want, point out the similarities, which aren’t point proving similarities just things that are similar with giving birth and taking a shit like. For women you feast for nine months to nuture this baby and then finaly drop that significant amount of weight. For men we feast for nine hours and then defecate in our sleep(or drop duece in the toilet w.e comes first). You can have different kinds of babies, twins, triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets. You can different types of shits, diarrhoea, the long ones that look like bannannas coming out, the little sputters, the ones that take forever to come out but when they do your like all the for this, twins, triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets. After we’re done we flush. Before it becomes a porblem you can flush. There are pills you can take to stop pregnancy. There are lacatives we can take to induce shit, (not really the same per se). Both stretches a very sensitive whole further than we like. Well if this didnt convince you that taking a shit is worse than giving birth, well than your not taking the shits that I have you lucky son of a bitch. Original rant by, Ricardo Arteca

blow jobs vs having sex

B.J. or sex, thats all it ever really comes down to, a blow job or some sex. And guys who can’t get enough of either. But we all know one is preferred over the other. For me i would rather get head than sex. Not that i dont enjoy sex it’s just something about my cock in someones mouth that just turns me on more. Maybe it’s the freedom to roam, she’s discovering your penis with her tongue...NOW THATS HOT. there is just something to monotnous and boring with sex, witch probably causes men to cheat..... Women if your reading Suck More Dick. I promiss your man will not/cheat less than before. But you can’t just suck dick you have to do everything a man wants you to do sucking his dick. For example the balls, you must play with the balls, put it in your mouth just a lick hell hold them in your hands while your blowing me but dont leave them alone. Just plain head can be boring too, try something new like lick me like a lolipop dont just submerge my whole shaft in your mouth, play a game i like to call how many licks, yeah it may take a long time but that fact that your just giving thes little licks up my shaft is actually turning me on more than you think. This little position called 69 can save lives, you dont want to suck dick well maybe i dont want to eat you out but I want my dick sucked and you want your puss licked so compromise one doesnt get what the other doesnt get. AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SWALLOW I know your thinking ewe, but i dont think there is man out here who doesnt want to be swallowed, I love to be swallowed so much that I wont tell her when I’m cumming for fear she might spit. And for the self conscience men remember if she’s brushing and flossing and mouth wash and is your wife let her swallow you, you’ll appreciate it more. And finally the only reason why I love head over sex is basically one factor, it’s your mouth my penis doesn’t belong ther but I want it there and I want it there all the time. If you don’t understand then let me put it this way, we were created to have sex and reproduce, vaginal intercourse, it is what we are expected to do but we are spontaneous creatures who love the unexpected. So we trade your vag for your mouth and we have this new toy to play with that no matter how hard we try cannot get pregnant and that has to be the most important reason why head is better than sex. So remember when your having sex and your husband/boyfriend/one night stand/ whomever your having sex with if he looks bored BLOW him. original theory by, Ricardo Arteca