taking a shit vs giving bitrh

Another theory on yet another one of lifes great mysteries; like what came first the chicken or the egg, is ther life on mars, what is better sex or head, and of course what is more painful giving birth or taking a shit. Now I know what some of you readers are thinking, "how can you compare the two?", or " no way does taking a shit compare to giving birth." Well I beg to differ. I for one have taken shits that no one should ever have to experience. Yeah, Yeah I know preganancy is a dificult process and is quite painful, but you knew what you were getting into. Never did i think after eating this chocolate cake was i gonna have to pass a chocolate baby out of my asswhole. How much can pregnancy really hurt, sure you have to pass a football through your vagina but at least your pumped with drugs. I wish i can have that while taking a shit, life would be so much better. It’s not like women don’t take shits so you know what us men go through but again no woman has ever shat like me, or any other man probably for that matter. Labor phft try sitting on the bowl for 7 hours sweating bullets, breathing heavily, stomach cramps and all you get is a loud phart and a few particles of debri, now that’s labor. I hope I never have to wipe my ass again, I would rather take the drugs, and go through labor and have the doctors cleaning me up and taking care of the situation then sit on uncomfortable toilet seat, pass my own child, then wipe my ass with toilet paper that feels like sanding paper then wopnder why I’m bleeding out the ass in the morning. "Well it’s not just the labor, you don’t have to cary shit around for nine months." "Well you don’t have to carry it around for 9 months"(in a whinny voice), who gives a shit. You never had to walk 12 blocks to your house with diarrhoea poking out your ass. "My water Broke".... Well my ass is leaking, and no one is gonna hold my shit up and say "oh how cute". At least woman have the pleasure of having an orgasm during birth. The closest thing I got to an orgasm while taking a shit is having my balls sit on top of the mountain, if you get my visual, and that’s not fun who wants shitty balls? I didn’t intend on showering after shit. I don’t know. Plus you don’t have to go through that every day. If it was everyday then I give it to you hands down, but nooooooo. Look you can counter argument all you want, point out the similarities, which aren’t point proving similarities just things that are similar with giving birth and taking a shit like. For women you feast for nine months to nuture this baby and then finaly drop that significant amount of weight. For men we feast for nine hours and then defecate in our sleep(or drop duece in the toilet w.e comes first). You can have different kinds of babies, twins, triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets. You can different types of shits, diarrhoea, the long ones that look like bannannas coming out, the little sputters, the ones that take forever to come out but when they do your like all the for this, twins, triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets. After we’re done we flush. Before it becomes a porblem you can flush. There are pills you can take to stop pregnancy. There are lacatives we can take to induce shit, (not really the same per se). Both stretches a very sensitive whole further than we like. Well if this didnt convince you that taking a shit is worse than giving birth, well than your not taking the shits that I have you lucky son of a bitch. Original rant by, Ricardo Arteca